Simon Danczuk Joins The Tories

Labour suspended him, then prevented him from standing for the Party at last year’s General Election. He resigned his membership, jumping before being pushed. Now, Rochdale’s former MP Simon Danczuk, who has previously claimed that he is not going to return to politics, is cosying up to the Tories. And if they allow him to join them, things at The Blue Team must be getting desperate indeed.
Following the election humiliation, and the newspaper commissions drying up, Spanker Si has been maintaining a low profile. But occasionally, he lets slip what he is really up to, and his direction of political travel. Which is away from Labour - that’s as in all of Labour, not just the definition of it favoured by those backing Jeremy Corbyn - and towards the Tories. Along with a dash of greenwash to make it all look respectable.
Hence his telling last month “Excellent forum organised by @ICEXReinoUnido & smart speech by @grahamstuart - all about investment & collaboration. #ICEXInfraestructuras”. Graham Stuart? He’s a Tory. Still, Danczuk is now officially independent.
And the greenwash? He’s Retweeting rather a lot from those caring Conservatives, well, mainly one of them: step forward Carrie Symonds, last heard of being linked with London’s formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. Spanker likes RTing her. So in the past month he’s shared “Hard to find the words to express how cruel trophy hunting is. Those that try to justify it on conservation grounds, how come you enjoy the killing? Why do you want to hang an animal's head on your wall? Hunters try to come up with rational arguments to justify their bloodlust”, and a few more.
Later came “Which supermarket produces the most single-use plastic? According to @WhichUK report out today, Tesco is by far the worst culprit, although Iceland and Aldi produce the most relative to their market share. Waitrose and the Co-op have the lowest plastic footprints”, “We’ve got to get this banned once and for all. No excuses for it. It’s sick. #BanTrophyHunting”, and then there were the whales.
What do we expect? We now dump the equivalent of a lorry worth of rubbish in our oceans every single minute. Until we reduce the amount of plastic being produced, we will contiune to destroy our oceans - and soon, it will be too late to reverse the damage” told Ms Symonds, after a whale was washed ashore with its stomach full of plastic waste.
And the confirmation of Danczuk’s new Tory credentials came at the end of last week, after he Tweeted about his attendance at the Cities of London and Westminster Conservatives’ 2018 Gala Dinner, held at the Jumeirah Carlton Tower last Thursday. The guest of honour? None other than Bozza himself. And there was a photo of the right-wing press’ favourite failure at the lectern, once more claiming an authority he does not possess.
Rocking up at a Cities of London and Westminster bash tells the world one thing, and one thing only: Simon Danczuk has joined the Tories. Those within the Labour Party who backed him over all those unfortunate controversies might just be feeling a little sheepish right now. Because their loyalty to him was seriously misplaced.

Spanker Si has crossed the floor. What will the next revelation be? Watch this space.
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